Author: Mooshkin

And there was me thinking I’d be good at making Christmas elves… oops!

I have a little book of ideas. Whenever I think of something that would be cool – or fun – to make, I note it down in my little book.

An idea that recently made it into the book was to make a Christmassy version of my dragonfly danglers. Instead of dragonflies, I’d make elves, presents, Christmas trees and other Christmas-themed Fimo models. These would be threaded onto strings, with beads and a wire ‘picture’ at the bottom, and a little bell. In my head they were amazing. Beautiful. Cute and fun, but elegant and very collectible. I would sell out in minutes, and I would be famous all over the world.

OK, that’s a slight exaggeration; I thought they’d be pretty cool and I might sell half a dozen if I was lucky. But you catch my drift, I’m sure.

I spent most of this weekend (10/11 September 2016) piddling about with little bits of Fimo. I made a few things that worked reasonably well, but they don’t matter for the purposes of this story. What matters is the fact that I then went on to spend something like 8-12 hours (I lost count in the end) making incredibly detailed little elves. Each one took for-fecking-ever and by the end my eyes were knackered and I was losing the will to live. They didn’t look quite as I’d hoped, but I put them in the oven anyway.

This is the result…

Yes, I know. They’re hideous! 😀 But that just makes me love them!

My ex husband was staying with us at the time, and he has a really wicked sense of humour. It was his suggestion to number them and post them to Facebook, asking which one was most likely to kill me in my sleep (my money was on number 8). I ended up posting the photos not only to my own wall, but to the Mooshkin page and also to a massive craft group of which I’m a member.

Well. My jaws have never ached so much. I was in tears of laughter for hours. Some of the comments I received were absolutely hilarious… here’s a selection (unedited so any typos are not mine!):

• 7 looks the scariest 😂 it looks like they have had their eyes eaten out
• They look like a weird pig with no eyes dressed as an elf
• they are hideous, but I love them
• sell them as elves for those who don’t deserve a visit from Santa
• Number 5 is definitely the freakiest… Like how a pug is so ugly it’s cute kinda way!
• 5 is freaky! They are strangely awesome though.
• Number 5 is spooky but I like them
• no 4 is hilarious
• Imagine these wee creepy elves were alive……! The are great though
• They are like creepy elf on a shelf…..just hide them in the kids rooms on Halloween
• Number 2 looks a bit suspect to me !
• I think number 7 looks a bit like Mr Gru
• Number 10 looks like the guy from the goonies 😂😂 I love them though! X
• A police line up for xmas cards sounds amazing xx everyone loves a baddie lol
• I think they look so evil because there are so many of them, I think one on it’s own would be quite sweet – maybe…
• I love number 4, great expression x
• I would go for number 8 as creepiest lol
• I think they look like trolls dressed for christmas lol x
• agree with number 8
• Number 5 wants my soul
• umber 11 looks like its had to much wine
• number 11 looks like hes either farting or needing the loo
• number 7 eeeekkkkk scariest number 11 funny
• Scary but cute at the same time……can imagine them being mischievous!
• creepy elves for bad people!.
• Definitely 8!

I was very encouraged by these comments. So it wasn’t just me with a bizarre sense of humour… turns out lots of other people have one too!

In fairness, the photos do make the little guys look a lot worse than they are. In reality they’re a little over an inch tall, and viewed with the naked eye (or normal spectacles) theyre actually cuter than the photos make them out to be. It’s only when you zoom right in with a camera that you see ugliness and evil! 😀

I’ve stewed on it overnight, and have decided two things:

1. I will sell the original elves (once I’ve photographed them again with better lighting) and will not be making any more. They will therefore be quite rare and collectible. I’ll thread them with silvery thread so they can be hung on Christmas trees. They’ll be £5 each plus P&P (£2.85 – can be combined if you order more than one). They won’t be for sale through the website – only through Facebook, so please message the page if you’re interested in buying.
2. I’ll be making Christmas cards from the (better) photos I’ll be taking. Each card will feature all 12 elves (front view only) and on the back of the card will be a link to a post on this blog, where recipients of the cards can find out about the crimes committed by each evil elf. Watch this space for more info about these, as they will be available on the website to buy in packs of 10.

Meanwhile, here are the elves’ police records – which evil elf is your favourite? 🙂

Some cock-ups can never be fixed. They’re a total waste of your time and energy, and you end up feeling completely useless and it’s just a big, stinking, fugly disaster.

But on rare occasions, cock-ups turn out to be for the best. If the comments I had on Facebook yesterday were anything to go by, accidentally ruining these elves could turn out to be a stroke of marketing genius… watch this space! 🙂

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